Tuesday, August 21, 2018

What Happens When You Say "Yes"?













Several years ago I saw the Jim Carey movie, Yes Man.  The premise is that he’s a negative guy whose life is boring because he says no to everything.  He decides to begin saying yes all the time, so of course, hilarious situations result.

This movie inspired me to look at my life, and I realized that the basic premise is true.  When I say no to things, my life is quiet and dull.  I often let laziness, fear of the unknown, looking stupid, rejection or looking foolish, stop me from saying yes.  Then I feel stagnant and nothing happens in my life.  I’m so busy trying to stay “safe”, that I don’t make room for all of the good new things to come in.

I noticed that when I ignore my fears and objections, and am open to new experiences, wonderful, fun things happen.

I decided to begin saying yes to things unless there is a good reason to decline (laziness, fear of looking foolish or of the unknown are not good reasons.)

As a result, I’ve recently accepted several speaking engagements, taken on new volunteer commitments, met lots of fun and interesting people, and made new friends.

I’ve also had the opportunity to stretch my comfort zone, which makes me feel even stronger and more empowered.  Also, these experiences have helped me realize I can do things I didn’t know I could do, and as a result, I have grown.

So this month I’m reflecting on how much more fun and interesting life is when I’m open to new things, and I’m focusing on just saying yes to life.


What about you?

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.


If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Adaptability














Recently there have been a lot of changes in my life, and I realized that I’m resisting accepting and adapting to them.  I’m happy with the familiar and staying in my comfort zone, and don’t want things to change.  However, this resistance is just making everything more difficult.

While visiting my grandchildren recently we played a game where we looked at all the things that have changed since I was a child.  We talked about the amazing conveniences and technology they have now, that didn’t exist when I was young.  It was a fun and educational exercise for them, and a new awareness for me. I was astonished to realize how much things had changed, and how I had actually let go of the old, moved on to the new, and created a different comfort zone with these new things.  I became aware of how much change we all have to adapt to, every day!

So, this month I’m reflecting on the importance of being flexible and adaptable in my business and personal life.  When a new idea or technology comes along, my first inclination is to say, “No thanks, I don’t need that.  The old way works fine.”  However, that may not be completely true.  The old way may have worked fine in the past, but does it still, and will it in another year or two?

Will clinging to the old way make my life easier, or put me at a disadvantage?  In business my competitors will probably be using the new methods, which will help them serve their clients faster and more conveniently.  What will happen to me if I don’t keep up and can’t provide better service too?

In my personal life, doing things the way I have always done them might feel safe, but it will interfere with my enjoyment or interaction with my family and friends.  For example, if I choose to not learn how to operate my technology devices such as the video part of my phone (which I am sorely tempted to do because I HATE IT when an inanimate object gets the best of me!) I will lose the incredible joy I get from preserving special moments in the lives of my children and grandchildren.  Do I really want to do that, just because it’s a challenge to learn the new way?  Probably not!

Also, if I’ve noticed that when some people become negative or toxic, is it smart to keep them in my life just because they’ve been there for a while?  Again, probably not!

I know that even with positive changes, there is sometimes grief in letting go of what was as I incorporate the new.

I understand that in the process of letting go, or of changing, I might experience the stages of the grief process.  I’m prepared to deal with the shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and final acceptance, because it will eventually lead me to a happier place.

So I’ve decided to stop clinging to what feels familiar and safe.  Stop looking back at how ‘it’s always been’.  Instead I will look forward, adopt a positive attitude, believe I can do it, and embrace the changes life brings.

How about you? 

Sandy is a best selling author, speaker, Licensed Counselor, and life and business coach. She is the author of the best selling book Feeling Good About You and Moving Up To Management for New Supervisors (available on Amazon.com) and is the creator of the amazing Feeling Good About You Breakthrough program. . You can visit Sandy on her website at www.insidejobscoach.com .


If you’d like to increase your self-esteem and personal power, Sandy has a great package she’d like to share with you.  Just click here to receive your Rapid Power Pack and begin to create the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

How Do You Love?














Yesterday I broke a crystal vase that was important to me.  It was given to me by someone I love, and I was really upset with my clumsiness.

My husband, seeing my distress, was soothing and calm, and said, “Let me see what I can do with this.”  While I continued to rant at myself, he quietly took the pieces away, worked his magic and made it like new again.

When he brought it back to me his face was filled with sweetness, and it occurred to me that this repaired vase was a gift of love.

I began thinking about all the ways he shows me he loves me. Words are nice, but his actions speak volumes, and I’m so very blessed to have him in my life.

I then thought of a woman I know who complains that her husband and children don’t love her.  She says they never say it, and she feels that nobody cares.  However, when I look at her family I realize that there is a lot of love being given.  She just doesn’t recognize it so doesn’t know how to receive it.

When her husband goes to work at a job he doesn’t like, so that she can do what she wants, which is stay home and raise the children, that’s a gift of love.  When her adolescent son offers to pick up something at the store so she won’t have to pack up the smaller kids to go out, that is his way of telling her he loves her.

Love is all around us, but we’re often like my friend who expects it to come in a specific form.  When it doesn’t, we miss it and feel unloved.

After this experience I’m reflecting on the importance of  being aware of ALL the ways people show me love, and being happy and grateful to receive it in whatever form it’s given.


How about you?

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Working With My Inner Child













This month I’m reflecting on the fact that I’m feeling pretty proud of myself.  That may sound a bit arrogant, but it’s really just good ol’ self-nurturing.  This past week my inner child has taken some big emotional risks. She and I are both pleased that she had the courage to do it, and are even more pleased that it turned out well.

That probably sounds weird, so I’ll explain.  I believe that even though I am a grown, capable, competent adult, I still have inside myself an inner child who is representative of who I was when I was young.  My inner child is about five years old, and usually feels scared, lonely, incompetent and vulnerable.

Most of the time my inner Sandy stays quiet and lets the adult Sandy make decisions and go about the day.  However, when I’m in a new situation where I’m uncertain about what I’m doing or how to proceed, my inner child feels vulnerable and becomes huge and loud.  This is because her old fears and anxieties begin to take over.

In those situations my challenge is to quiet the inner child and reassure her that Sandy-the-adult has things under control.  That all she (the child) has to do is relax and let me (the adult) handle the situation.  When I’m able to do that, I can move ahead, stretch my comfort zone, and grow and learn new things.

That is what I did last weekend, which is why I’m feeling proud of myself.

In order to market my new book, Moving Up To Management:Leadership and Management Skills for New Supervisors, I attended a conference as a presenter and also an exhibitor in the Trade Show.  This was a new experience for me, and it was a bit daunting.  However, it needed to happen, so my inner child and I had to work on the fact that we could do it and still survive.

She agreed that as a five-year-old she had no clue how to talk in front of a group or market a book, but she thought that maybe the adult I am now could do it.  So, she sat back, let the adult part of me handle it, and it turned out well.

I believe that we all have an inner child who is afraid, and occasionally wants to be in control in order to keep us emotionally and/or physically safe. The challenge is for the adult you are now to work with that child (with inner dialogue) and help him/her understand that you will make sure all turns out well.

You do this the same as you would if you had a small child by the hand and s/he was feeling afraid.  Using positive, reassuring statements such as “It’ll be fine”, “We can do this”, and “I have it under control”, will help to reassure your inner child that all will be well.

So, you might want to ask yourself, how old is my inner child?  What are his/her fears?  In what situations does s/he become large and try to run the show?  What does s/he need to know, hear, and understand, in order to feel safe and secure?


If you meet the needs of your inner child by being strong, in charge, and letting him/her know it’s safe, you will be able to face and walk through your fears, stretch your comfort zone, grow, and feel proud of yourself.

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Monday, June 25, 2018

Bring Present













I have lots of things going in my life, and at times they become a jumble and I have trouble sorting them out in my mind.  The result is that I often end up feeling overwhelmed and not knowing which to tackle first.  When this happens I realize that I’m so into my head and out of my body that I’m not at all in touch with the ‘now’.

So, this month I’m reflecting on what I call “being present”. ‘Being present’ means that I focus on what I’m doing/feeling right now.  Not on what I did yesterday or will do tomorrow, but right now.  Amazingly, when I do this for at least 10 minutes, it clears my brain, relaxes my body and I’m once again able to concentrate.

There is something very calming and peaceful about being ‘in the now’.  Stopping everything and becoming aware of what my body is doing. Is my breathing deep or shallow, where are my muscles tense, am I warm or cold, etc.?

When I am ‘present’ I also notice what’s happening outside my body.  The way the blossoms blowing off the trees look like snowflakes, how the sun feels as it warms my face, the texture of soft, squishy grass under my feet.

Many years ago when my children were toddlers they taught me the beauty of ‘being present’.  Small children are always in the present.  They don’t worry about what they have done or will do. They live in the moment.

If you’ve ever walked with a toddler you know that everything is fascinating.  They see the beautiful leaf, the caterpillar crossing the sidewalk, and the lovely rocks in the driveway.  Taking a walk with my small children was an adventure.  They taught me to slow down and take time to notice the present, instead of focusing on moving ahead to our destination. For them, the process was the destination.

Now, when I feel overwhelmed and scattered I remind myself to stop, and just ‘be present’.  It makes all the difference.

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Do You Think You Can?

When I was young there was a children’s book called, The Little Engine That Could.  The story was about a small engine that was just learning how to pull long trains.  Through a variety of circumstances, all the seasoned engines were out of commission, and it was up to the little engine to pull the train over the mountains.

He was terrified, but as he chugged along he continued to say, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can……”

Of course, he prevailed, hauled the giant train over the mountains, and learned a lot about himself in the process.

Numerous studies have shown that your attitude and beliefs make all the difference in how successful you are in life.

When you believe you can’t do something, just because you’ve never done it before, or because someone has told you that you don’t have what it takes, you undermine yourself and get to be right.  You can’t do it!

However, if you ignore all the reasons, excuses and negative messages and thoughts, and do as the Little Engine did, it’s amazing what you can accomplish.

Many years ago I worked in an agency where several programs were funded by 1-year grants.  There were two positions in which people were hired for a program, only to lose funding and have to switch to a new program.

When one employee learned she had to do something new, she freaked out, fell apart, and insisted she couldn’t do it.  Of course she couldn’t, and she didn’t last long with the agency.

When the other employee was told she needed to do a new thing she’d never done before, she walked around all week saying, “I CAN do this!  I CAN do this!”  Being her own cheerleader and coach was effective, she did learn the new thing, and she became well respected throughout the agency for her resilience and effectiveness.

So which of these people are you?  What do you tell yourself, and how do you proceed, when you’re faced with a new or scary challenge.


Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t will make all the difference.

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Are You Stuck?













Last week I was talking with Sam, a new client who hired me to help him streamline his office procedures. The chore that requires much of his time is his bookkeeping, which he does by hand! He said that its time consuming, but works for him because he knows how to do it this way and feels comfortable with it.

Sam’s father initiated this accounting method when he opened the business 30 years ago, and since then they’ve ‘always done it this way’.  In the early days they were a small company with only 4 employees, and this was the best way available to keep track of finances.  When Sam took over 5 years ago, the firm employed 37 people, and they were still doing finances by hand!

Sam explained that he’d thought about switching to a computer accounting program because he knows it will save time, give him access to all kinds of reports and tax information, and streamline his entire bookkeeping operation.  However, he was having trouble letting go of how it had always been done. 

Is This You?
Does any of this sound familiar to you?  Are there areas in your business or personal life where you are still doing things as they’ve always been done, even though it’s no longer efficient?  Places where it’s probably time to make changes and grow, but for some reason you are reluctant to actually do it?  If so, you are definitely not alone.  There are many reasons why people are hesitant to let go of doing things the way they have always done them.

Comfort Zone
One of the main reasons is that doing something the way you’ve always done it keeps you in your comfort zone.  Your comfort zone is a very nice place in which you are a capable, competent person who understands what is going on and feels in control of it all.  It’s a pleasant, cozy, safe place to be.  Why would you want to let go of that?

However, the down side of your comfort zone is that it keeps you stuck and stops your growth.  It reinforces using procedures and behaviors that may be outdated or inefficient, and makes your business vulnerable to your competition.  It is also a boring place to be, and robs you of the opportunity to grow, learn new things and become the best you can be.

Fear of Change
Another reason you might be staying in your comfort zone is the fear of change. Change often represents uncertainty, and the unknown is a scary place. You don’t know for sure how things will turn out.  It’s a place where, for a time, you feel inadequate and confused instead of competent and capable.  There is also the fear that you may not be smart, good or clever enough to master the new thing.

Many people spend their lives doing everything they can to avoid fear.  However, the reality is that every change, anything new, will involve some fear.  The way to deal with fear is to confront and move through it.  Feel the fear and do it anyway!

From Master to Novice
Another part of change is that you go from being a master at something to being a novice.  When something is new you begin the learning curve all over again.  In this situation the fear of not being able to master the new thing is often very present and can be a huge deterrent to making a change.

When you look at your life you can see that you’ve already mastered this process many times. As a child you probably moved through the school system, which is set up so children reach a level of mastery and then become novices again. You started elementary school in kindergarten, new to the idea of school.  You learned and adapted to the process and place, to the point where you were comfortable and proficient in functioning within the system. Then you moved to junior high school, with a whole new set of rules and systems, and were suddenly a novice again. You learned and grew into junior high, and then repeated the process again when moving to high school, college, into a job, etc.  With each step you expanded your comfort zone. A process that was initially uncomfortable but eventually empowering.  Stretching your comfort zone is one way you learn you are a capable competent person.

In Sam’s case, in order to update his accounting he will have to go from being totally proficient with the system, to being new and temporarily confused.  From being the person who knows how to handle it all to being the person who has to rely on others while he’s in the learning process.  Growth always involves a period of being new, and new is always uncomfortable.

Why Have I Always Done It This Way?
Have you asked yourself why it’s always been done that way?  Often systems are implemented, or relationships or routines are created because they are the best available at the time.  However, as time passes and new ways of doing things are available, what was once state-of-the-art may become outdated and inefficient.

For example, when I was a child I would stand holding the refrigerator door open while deciding on a snack.  My mother would always tell me to close the door because all the cold air was escaping.  Since she did that with me, I did the same with my children (we’d always done it that way).  Until one day my son asked “why”?  He pointed out that the refrigerator was electric and constantly made more cold air, so it escaping wasn’t really a problem. Of course, he was right! I’d never thought about why I was delivering this message, so I asked my mother where it came from.  She said that her mother always said it to her, so she believed it and passed it along.  However, when my mother was a small child, refrigerators were actual iceboxes, which were cooled by large blocks of ice. When the door was opened the ice melted faster and they really did run out of cold air.

When my grandmother told her children to close the door, it was the right message for the situation.  As the message was passed on from generation to generation, the situation changed and the fridge no longer ran out of cold air.  (I do understand it takes electricity to generate more). However, nobody looked at the reason for the message.  We just kept doing it as we’d always done it.

In Sam’s case the accounting system his father implemented was right for the time, but changes in technology have refined the most effective way to track finances.  It’s important to understand why the system was created, what need it was designed to fill.  Look at it and see if it is still the most efficient way to fill this need, or if a more effective way is now available.  This applies to how you run your personal as well as your business life.

How Do You Know You’re Stuck?
Sometimes you may not consciously realize that you are stuck and that it’s time to make a change. When something becomes a struggle, takes too much time, or feels like a huge chore, it may be an indication that you are doing it the way it’s always been done rather than the more efficient and effective way.  You can often identify what may have outlived its usefulness by noting the things that are difficult, and asking yourself why you do them the way you do.

What To Do
Once you have identified things that may need a change, ask yourself:
·         Where did this procedure originate?
·         What was its original purpose?
·         Does this still apply?
·         Is there an easier way to accomplish the same goal?
·         What are the consequences of continuing to do things the way we’ve always done them?
·         What will be the results of implementing a new process?
·         What is stopping me from implementing this new process?
·         What will I do about this?

Once you’ve answered these questions, it’s time to move. Change the procedure, buy and learn the new program, delegate to whomever can do the job, or completely let go of the procedure if it no longer applies.

After going through this process Sam decided to take a leap of faith and implement a computer accounting program for his business.  He expanded his personal and business comfort zone by hiring a professional to help him become proficient in the new software.  He endured a brief period of feeling totally lost, and soon became as skilled with the new system as he was with the old.  The new system has accomplished his goal of streamlining his accounting and providing him with more time to focus on other aspects of his business. Sam has also renewed his sense of being even more empowered, capable and competent.

Of course, your comfort zone also applies to your personal life.  You might be keeping behaviors, relationships, locations and habits that worked for you in the past, but now just keep you stifled and stuck.

So you may want to ask yourself, where in my life do I feel stuck or like I’m doing something just because it’s familiar, comfortable, and always been done that way?  What things do I need to change, but I’m hesitant because I’m afraid of looking/feeling awkward and stupid, or fearful of failing?  What would I like to do about that?

It’s something to think about.


Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

For a FREE worksheet to help you look at, “I’ve Always Done It That Way”, and many FREE exercises on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books page.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.