Monday, February 18, 2019

Positive Vibes -- Are You an Introvert?

John: It is a Saturday afternoon around 3;30pm. It is raining here in NC. The house is quiet. My wife and dog are upstairs taking a nap. You can literally hear a pin drop in here. It is bliss. The sounds of silence. I don’t know when I got so introverted. Let me take that back – yes I do, I grew up introverted. Some of my distinct, fondest memories are of me sitting alone on the floor in my bedroom listening to the radio, or playing, or reading. I didn’t need anyone then for fulfillment. I don’t think I do even now. Which is why it was so funny for me to worry about what people thought for so many years. If you give me a radio, or a notepad, or a game of Strat, I’m good for 6-7 hours. As Susan Cain said, in her book, Quite, “solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” We live in a culture that celebrates extroversion and sees introversion as a weakness or something to overcome. If you’re an introvert, you may have grown up believing there was something wrong with you. You may not even have realized there’s a word for your personality type, that 26 to 50 percent of the population falls under that umbrella, and that our brains are actually wired differently than extroverts’ brains. But they are, and that is okay.  To me, I’m never lonely. I love, love, love the time I spend alone (or just with my immediate family). It feeds my soul.

Sandy – are you introverted or extroverted and what do you tell introverts who are looking to find their place?

Sandy:  This is such a great topic John, and I can completely relate to your enjoyment of the sounds of silence, because I am also an introvert.  When I was a child they used to call me “shy”.  I didn’t know how to relate to people, and really didn’t want to because I always ended up feeling exhausted.

I now know that being either an introvert or extrovert is just fine.  What it means is that extroverts get their energy and are rejuvenated by being around people, while introverts are drained by being around lots of people, and are rejuvenated and energized by alone time.  Yes, our brains are “wired differently”, it’s how we are born, and it’s all OK.

The important thing is for each person to understand how he or she functions, and then make time to meet his or her energy needs.  If you are an extrovert you probably want to connect with people sometime during each day.  If you are an introvert you want to have as much alone time as possible to re-energize.

Of course, this doesn’t mean becoming a hermit.  Over the years I’ve learned to enjoy spending time with groups of people, but I know when it’s time for me to re-energize by taking a solitary walk or sitting and listening to music.

Introverts are usually friendly and nice people, just as extroverts are.  They might need to push themselves a bit to get out into the world, but when they do they have a good time.


Even though introverts enjoy solitude we can still be quite friendly, outgoing, energetic and have a great time with others.  I believe it’s all about finding a balance and loving and appreciating yourself just as you are.

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience.

Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see what Coaching is all about.  Please email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put FREE Call in the Subject Line.  She will get right back to you to schedule your call.

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books and Programs page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Monday, February 11, 2019

Create Your Perfect Year

Anytime is a great time to review the past year and discover what you’ve learned.  Then to plan for the coming year and what you want to make happen in the next twelve months.  Remember that the best way to predict the future is to create it!

I’d like to suggest you take a few minutes to reflect on the following questions and then write down the answers.  They will help you make the next 12 months everything you want them to be.

What was the high point of this past year and why?


What did I learn or discover about myself?


What made me happy or fulfilled me this year?


What was my most successful project?


What disappointments did I have? What can I learn from them?



Now look at the coming year and think about:

Goals: What are the 5 most important things I want to have happen in my business in the next 12 months?
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Goals: What are the 5 most important things I want to have happen in my personal life in the next 12 months?
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Add: What do I want to have/experience more of in my life this year?
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Subtract: What do I want to remove/reduce from my life in the next 12 months?
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Shifts: What shifts will I have to make or what things/attitudes/beliefs will I have to let go of in order to achieve my goals?
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Actions: What specific things will I do to make my goals a reality?
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Support: Who are the key people to help/support me as I make this a phenomenal year, and what, specifically, do I need from them?
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Great job!  Now go do it, and have a really terrific year!

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see what Coaching is all about.  Please email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put FREE Call in the Subject Line.  She will get right back to you to schedule your call.

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books and Programs page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 


Monday, February 4, 2019

Positive Vibes

Scars

Goeke talks about a zen story that goes something like this:

A Zen master was given a beautifully crafted crystal cup. It was a gift from a former student. He was very grateful. Every day, he enjoyed drinking out of his glass. He would show it to visitors and tell them about the kindness of his student. But every morning, he held the cup in his hand for a few seconds and reminded himself: “This glass is already broken.” One day, a clumsy visitor toppled the glass on its shelf. The cup fell down. When it hit the floor, it was smashed into thousands of tiny pieces.

The other visitors gasped in shock, but the Zen master remained calm. Looking at the mess in front of his feet, he said: “Ah. Yes. Let’s begin.”He picked up a broom and started sweeping.

Half of happiness is being okay with what you don’t get but the other half is being okay with losing what you have. If you are grateful for your possessions, you are ahead of most. But the man who knows they won’t last is ahead of him still. kintsugi (金継ぎ) is a a traditional Japanese art that restores broken objects with gold or silver so that the cracks are illuminated and highlighted, not hidden. By repairing the broken object, breathing new life into it, the pottery is more beautiful for having been broken… for having these precious scars. And then one day, they are gone.

Sandy, I think this is how life works. If we choose to embrace our struggles and repair ourselves with love, we too become more beautiful for having been broken. Our scars, our cracks, are what makes us resilient, builds toughness and helps us grow in ways we never imagined. And then one day, they are gone. 

John, thank you for sharing this lovely story.

Yes, I agree that since life is about change, and often the changes leave scars, it’s very important for us to adapt to the new (even when something appears to be broken), and turn it into a positive.  There is always something to learn from change, and it often opens up space for something even better (like the beautiful gold or silver in the cracks).


However, I also believe that it’s important to expect and focus on the positive.  Although I know that some day the glass might break, I choose to focus on how lovely it is now and how much I enjoy using it every day.  If that changes, I am prepared to work with it and find the gold, but I believe there is already gold in all the joy it is bringing now.

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience.

Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see what Coaching is all about.  Please email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put FREE Call in the Subject Line.  She will get right back to you to schedule your call.

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books and Programs page.

If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams.

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself. 

Monday, January 14, 2019

Bossy Little Girl


When I was small I always wanted to help people.  For some reason I had the ability to see the big picture, narrow it down to the bottom line, and understand what action steps needed to be taken to move ahead. (At the time I didn’t know to call it that).  So I tried to support folks in the only way I knew how, which was to tell them my thoughts and share my vision about how to do things.

As a result I was labeled “a bossy little girl”, and told that nobody would ever like me if I continued to tell people my thoughts.  They predicted that if I kept it up I’d grow up to be a ‘pushy broad’.  In those days strong women were negatively referred to as ‘pushy broads’, and were looked down on by men and women alike. I learned that little girls weren’t supposed to be directive, visionary or in control, so I stopped talking.

Now that I’m an adult I’ve realized that I wasn’t a “bossy little girl”, I was a girl with Executive Leadership Skills!  If I’d been a boy, people wouldn’t have tried to silence me.  They would have been proud and encouraged me to be strong, speak my mind and lead.

Women have come a long way since I was a child, but in some circles the old stereotypes are still in effect.  Although not as prevalent as it used to be, there is still the perception that there is something unfeminine about being a strong leader.

My husband is a wise man who thinks I’m feminine, and also likes the fact that I’m strong, have leadership qualities, and focus on empowering other women to share their vision, wisdom and connect with their inner leader.  He is proud to jokingly tell people that I “teach Pushy Broad School”, and I’m proud to do it.

So this month I’m reflecting on the importance of encouraging girls and young women to be strong, assertive, and visionary.  To tap into and use their Executive Leadership Skills, and be proud of being “a bossy girl”.

How about you?


Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience

Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see what Coaching is all about.  Please email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put FREE Call in the Subject Line.  She will get right back to you to schedule your call.

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website.  Also be sure to check out our Books and Programs page.