David is a middle manager in a large company. On our last coaching call he talked about
his frustration with how things at work are done and what he can and cannot do
to change them. As a middle manager he
has some power to control his department, but not to change company policies he
disagrees with.
After he vented, we looked at the reality of what was going
on for him. David realized that feeling frustrated is a “red flag emotion” that
lets him know he is feeling powerless and not in control. “Red-flag emotions” are feelings we
experience to let us know how we are reacting to our environment. As with all “red-flag emotions”, once he
acknowledges its message, David can decide what to do about it’s cause, and
then let the emotion go.
Have You Felt
Frustrated?
Have you ever felt frustrated with a business or personal
situation? Maybe you have to wait for others to make decisions or take action,
you might be trying to control uncooperative people or things, or you may be
dealing with something like the weather or natural disasters, over which nobody
has control.
In all of these instances frustration is a signal that you
are feeling a loss of personal power. It's an indication that you feel blocked
in some way and are not in control of what's happening to you. Feeling this way for very long can decrease
your self-confidence, cause stress resulting in unhealthy consequences, and
diminish your sense of being a capable, competent person. Since you probably don’t want to experience
these things, the thing to do when you feel frustrated is to find a way to
regain control and feel powerful.
Choices
David realized that in frustrating situations he has two
choices:
1) If it’s a situation over which he has control, he
can take action and impact it in some way.
2) If
it's a situation over which he has no power, he can choose to let go of his
need for control, break it down into smaller parts, and find ways to deal with
each of them.
3) Or
he can simply decide it's not worth putting energy into and let it go.
David acknowledged that he was powerless to impact the
corporate culture and decided to focus on the things he does have control
over. He talked with his boss to share
his thoughts and suggestions, and then put his energy into his department and
empowering his staff. He let go of his
need to fight a system he cannot change, and moved ahead in ways he could.
David realized that he always has the power to choose how he
reacts to a situation, and to decide what he wants to do about it. Then he can
make decisions about how to proceed.
Once he took charge of his feelings, the frustration disappeared and he
again feels powerful in his world.
What About
You?
What about you? Is
there a situation in your life that is causing you frustration because it’s not
within your power to change? Or one that is not worth your time or energy? You
may want to ask yourself if there is any aspect of it you can control, and then
do that. Then let go of the
frustration.
Since being frustrated drains your physical and emotional
energy, confuses your thoughts and blocks you from being productive, you might
want to eliminate this emotion from your life.
It helps to remember that:
1)
When you feel frustrated it’s because you’re feeling powerless
or not in control.
2)
Frustration tells you something is not working as you want or
you planned.
3)
To relieve frustration, take action if you have the
power/ability/authority, or do what you can, and then let the situation go.
4)
Confronting and overcoming frustration will add to your
self-confidence and sense of personal power.
So, how do you deal with frustration?
It’s something to think about.
Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and
experience
Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see
what Coaching is all about. Please
email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com
and put FREE Call in the Subject Line.
She will get right back to you to schedule your call.
For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the
Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach
website. Also be sure to check out our
Books page.
If you'd like to bring positive changes into your life, we
have the perfect thing for you. Check out The Rapid Power Pack,
and begin to create the life of your dreams.
If you would like to feel more confident and believe in
yourself, check out The
Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you
and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself.
