The tone of The tone of the meeting had become hostile, with people interrupting, yelling and making snide comments, and I was appalled. I’d just joined the Board of Directors for a non-profit agency, and was so shocked by the behavior of this group of professional adults, that I needed to think about it so I could understand what was going on.
The situation was one in which everyone had his or her own agenda, and nobody listened to what anyone else had to say. As a result, it quickly deteriorated into an exchange that I would expect only from young children. It was both uncomfortable and unproductive, and I left feeling disgusted with the group.
I realized that what was being exhibited at this meeting was
a total lack of respect. The Board
members were acting disrespectfully towards each other, themselves, and the
organization they were there to help.
This realization led me to think about respect, and what
exactly it is.
According to the dictionary, respect is:
- Exhibiting courtesy and
deference: an expression (by word or deed) of esteem or regard
- Showing courteous regard
for people's feelings
- Treating others with
dignity
- The condition of being
honored or well regarded
- Valuing one’s standing or position
- An attitude of
admiration or esteem
- Regarding someone
highly; thinking much of/valuing them
I realized that the positive relationships and interactions
in my life were effective because the people involved treated each other with
respect. It’s what my parents used to
refer to as exhibiting good manners (an old-fashion but still appropriate
term). This means listening quietly and attentively, hearing what is said,
responding calmly, and using a tone and demeanor that show regard and esteem
for the people you’re interacting with.
This situation spurred me to look at my own behavior, and I
was horrified to note that there are times when I treat others
disrespectfully. I wasn’t aware of it,
but I began to see that when I feel tired, stressed, overwhelmed or ignored I
lash out at the people around me. As a
result, my family and staff often bear the brunt of my disrespect.
I realized that it’s important for me to be aware of the way
I treat others, and insure that all my actions convey a positive, respectful
attitude towards the people involved.
This means everyone, from my children, spouse and friends, to my
business colleagues, the clerk in the store, and fellow Board members.
I also realized that I should always treat myself with
respect. I began to see that others are aware when I respect myself, and I’m
more likely to receive respect in return.
As for the rest of the Board, I understand that I may not be
able to change how they function.
However, if I monitor my own actions and model respectful behavior, I
hope they will notice and respond in kind.
So, I’m wondering who do you treat respectfully or
disrespectfully? What types of
situations spawn these behaviors and what is the outcome of these
interactions? It might be something to
think about.
Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and
experience
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