John: It is a
Saturday afternoon around 3;30pm. It is raining here in NC. The house is quiet.
My wife and dog are upstairs taking a nap. You can literally hear a pin drop in
here. It is bliss. The sounds of silence. I don’t know when I got so
introverted. Let me take that back – yes I do, I grew up introverted. Some of
my distinct, fondest memories are of me sitting alone on the floor in my
bedroom listening to the radio, or playing, or reading. I didn’t need anyone
then for fulfillment. I don’t think I do even now. Which is why it was so funny
for me to worry about what people thought for so many years. If you give me a
radio, or a notepad, or a game of Strat, I’m good for 6-7 hours. As Susan Cain
said, in her book, Quite, “solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the
air they breathe.” We live in a culture that celebrates
extroversion and sees introversion as a weakness or something to overcome. If
you’re an introvert, you may have grown up believing there was something wrong
with you. You may not even have realized there’s a word for your personality
type, that 26 to 50 percent of the population falls under that umbrella, and
that our brains are actually wired differently than extroverts’ brains. But
they are, and that is okay. To me, I’m
never lonely. I love, love, love the time I spend alone (or just with my
immediate family). It feeds my soul.
Sandy – are you introverted or extroverted and what do you
tell introverts who are looking to find their place?
Sandy: This is such a great topic John, and I can
completely relate to your enjoyment of the sounds of silence, because I am also
an introvert. When I was a child they
used to call me “shy”. I didn’t know
how to relate to people, and really didn’t want to because I always ended up
feeling exhausted.
I now know that being either an introvert or extrovert is
just fine. What it means is that
extroverts get their energy and are rejuvenated by being around people, while
introverts are drained by being around lots of people, and are rejuvenated and
energized by alone time. Yes, our
brains are “wired differently”, it’s how we are born, and it’s all OK.
The important thing is for each person to understand how he
or she functions, and then make time to meet his or her energy needs. If you are an extrovert you probably want to
connect with people sometime during each day.
If you are an introvert you want to have as much alone time as possible
to re-energize.
Of course, this doesn’t mean becoming a hermit. Over the years I’ve learned to enjoy
spending time with groups of people, but I know when it’s time for me to
re-energize by taking a solitary walk or sitting and listening to music.
Introverts are usually friendly and nice people, just as
extroverts are. They might need to push
themselves a bit to get out into the world, but when they do they have a good
time.
Even though introverts enjoy solitude we can still be quite
friendly, outgoing, energetic and have a great time with others. I believe it’s all about finding a balance
and loving and appreciating yourself just as you are.
Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and
experience.
Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see
what Coaching is all about. Please
email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com
and put FREE Call in the Subject Line.
She will get right back to you to schedule your call.
For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the
Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach
website. Also be sure to check out our
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